It's the hardest thing for me to comprehend why my imagination cannot create vibrant, fun ideas for gift-giving (as mentioned yesterday), in coming up with unique opportunities to help others, or doing something artsy - like writing a song, or turning a blank canvas into a masterpiece.

No, no....my imagination only works one way. And that is to turn the unknown into the worst possible outcome possible. While I struggle to be creative, my imagination has no boundaries when it comes to creating possible scenarios of why someone is late to meet me, and isn't answering their phone. Inevitably, the scenarios always lead to death. I convince myself of car crashes, carjackings, break-ins that lead to hostage situations, or even begin question the seriousness of our friendship in their absence. Why? I don't know. I can logically talk myself out of such non-sense for about 5 minutes at a time...then my mind sets on the "best" scenario and creates more details and a plan of action should that ACTUALLY be the case. Really, Amber?

But there's no controlling it. If my boss sends me an email saying he wants to meet with me, I think of everything that could go wrong. If a friend is mad, I imagine the worst and go in feeling like the enemy. It's a madhouse. The imagination is a twisted thing. Goodbye optimism, hello Twilight Zone!