We got to see a baby being born. Front row seats. With encouragement from the doctor to help deliver it.

"Um...no thank you. I work at a desk. Behind a computer. Far, far away from any gynecologist's office. In fact, I've only been to the gynecologist twice in my life. I really don't know how this works. What's about to happen again?"

I pushed my husband in front of me, so the doctor would focus on him. Should we at least ask the mother her name? Maybe shake her hand before we stand at the opposite end of her bed? Oh how this would never happen in America...

According to the doctor, she was in full, active labor. We were encouraged to take a look at the baby's head, as it began to crown. But the mother wasn't screaming or grunting - no way she was in labor! Nobody was encouraging her, holding her hand, telling her to push. We weren't quite sure how long this was going to take. Before I could contemplate whether or not I wanted to miss dinner to witness this event - the baby was full out on the table, before anyone was prepared to catch it. I jumped back faster than I think I ever have. The image of a baby shooting out like a bullet with one push was more than I was prepared for! I hear my husband say "That was awesome!" and about lose my lunch in a nearby basket.

I gather myself in the next curtained area, my eyes wide with surprise at my husband's reaction. He is so excited! .....that is sooooo not right. Didn't he see where that baby came out? Doesn't he know how horrifying that looks to me? We should really talk about adoption more...

I stuck around to see the new life brought into this world. A teammate of mine got to weigh, clean, dress, and cut the umbilical cord off the new baby boy. Once he was all bundled up, we got to hold him. And that kind of made up for the visual that is now permanently scarred in my brain.

Oh Eve - I hope that was one juicy piece of fruit....

I have an amazing husband. The man who I couldn't get to hang around the church building 5 minutes after service ended to talk to anyone 4 years ago - made deeper relationships with the people in Zimbabwe that I could have ever imagined. I wanted to see as many different places as I could, meet as many people as possible, and look at the faces of every child around. My senses were in overdrive, my level of discomfort and uncertainty was at an all-time high, and the inability to predict what was going to happen next got my adrenaline pumping.

My husband, however, was more focused on getting to know our head cook. He spent days and nights talking to the kitchen staff, helping them prepare our meals, and planning hikes at 5am each morning. He bypassed the opportunity to visit different villages during the week - so he could spend more time getting to know the people who served us every day. He learned several words in Shona so that he could greet them in their native language. I don't recall even asking them their names.

I know a part of that was due to my uncertainty of a woman's place in Zimbabwe. I was extremely cautious of the cultural boundaries, and didn't want to offend anyone in my carelessness. I kept to my American group, and kept my social tendencies to them. But I was so proud of my husband. He got openly made fun of by the local school kids for his country accent and good boy ways. I watched from a distance, ready to jump to his defense. He didn't seem to notice. Or he just didn't care. He continued to sit with them and ask questions - trying to find common ground to talk about. I would have been long gone by that point. My level of discomfort would have shot through the roof at a schoolyard of kids laughing at me. But they always came around. He would push through the language barrier and chorus of laughter and focus in on the one individual who seemed sincere. The battle against my tears stemmed from wanting to protect him - to wishing I was more like him.

Don't get me wrong - I talked and made friends with some of the natives. I think I'm the only one in our group who still emails someone back in Zimbabwe. But my heart at the time was more focused on taking in as much as possible - rather than leaving as much of me as possible behind. I look forward to getting another chance to take after my husband's example.

Wow - if I knew writing about extroverts would increase my blog hits by 350% - I wouldn't have spent so much time writing about the boring things - like my travel experience and life!

I'm not quite sure how so many people are coming across my extrovert blog - but let me assure you that it was not written with the intent of being taken seriously. As you may notice - I have a whopping 16 followers - only 1 of which I don't know personally. I don't write for the public - (though if I could get paid to sit at home and unintentionally offend people I don't know simply by joking around, I totally would). It was written as an inside joke for my immediate family and close circle of friends (and was well-received, I might add). There was obviously no research or science that went into those 10 lines of extemporaneous comedy.

So to those who find me rude and insensitive, I deeply apologize.

I'm only rude sometimes. And never at the same time I'm insensitive.

Never would I deliberately make a stranger the target of my satirical rant!

I'm trying so desperately to put my experiences in Zimbabwe into words for you. I have draft posts just sitting there, waiting for me to hit the publish button. Why can't I just spit it out? Why can't I just share with you all the things we experienced over there?

I'm so frustrated. I write, I delete. I write some more....I delete again. It's not coming out like I want it to! I feel as though I'm communicating dissatisfaction, complaint....even disgust....when all I want is to verbalize the reality of their situation. There were so many beautiful moments - that when isolated from the unfavorable circumstances - aren't quite as beautiful. It's something I want so badly to be able to express eloquently and with all the emotions that I felt with each day - but feel as though I'm falling short. I want to get it just right...

Soon.

In response to the recent article "10 Myths about Introverts" floating about Facebook lately, I felt the irrepressible need to explain the extroverts of the world. Read with enjoyment - and an open heart! :)

Myth #1 - Extroverts like to talk and can't be silent.

• It's not so much that we LIKE to talk - but what we DON'T like. Which is awkward silence. This is what occurs when you put a bunch of introverts in a room who don't like making small talk! We like to "break the ice" and talk about anything and everything we can think of, just to avoid the awkwardness of everyone pretending not to be listening or looking at anyone else in the room. If others are talking and there's no awkwardness - we embrace the opportunity to stop brainstorming random and totally unnecessary subjects!
  

Myth #2 - Extroverts need to be the center of attention.

• Need? No. We simply ARE, due to introverts not talking....er....excuse me...I believe it's refusing to "beat(ing) around the bush with social pleasantries". There we go. Or liking to spend an abundant amount of time in public. We end up being the center of attention by default!
  

Myth #3 - Extroverts enjoy public speaking.

• Just because we are comfortable talking to YOU and the person standing next to you (and the next person that comes along), does NOT mean that we have any desire to talk to a room full of people at once. Our level of comfort in verbally communicating with others stops when they actually all stop to listen and do not respond. Must I use the word "awkward" again?
  

Myth #4 - Extroverts love meeting people.

• Though we get our energy from being around others, do not mistake this for wanting to be the designated "new person" greeter. Being shoved towards a person that no one in the room knows is just as uncomfortable for us, as it is for introverts. However - unlike introverts - we don't know how it is possible to make friends WITHOUT first going through the inevitable "small talk" phase that introverts hate so much. So we push through the hesitation and discomfort and just do it. (Think about it, introverts - your closest friends are extroverts who did exactly what you think is unnecessary to do in public, aren't they?? AREN'T they?!)
  

Myth #5 - Extroverts don't want to be alone.

• How would you know? You only see us when we're around you. :)
  

Myth #6 - Extroverts have a lot of energy.

• Trust me on this one. We. do. not. exert. any. energy. at. home. YOU give us energy! Isn't that the biggest compliment in the world? We are ONLY energetic when we are around you! We love getting to know you, and finding out more about you, and spending time with you! Woo-hoo....I'm getting more energy just thinking about thinking about you! It doesn't have to be in big groups, either. Extroverts just enjoy spending time with someone other than themselves.
  

Myth #7 - Extroverts don't need time to recharge.

• Our recharge is faster than your recharge. Not to sound arrogant or anything. Nothing to brag about, really. Well...it kinda is. Do you remember the last time an extrovert excused themselves to the potty? Yep - that's all it takes. Really. We excuse ourselves, head on down to the john, and let everything that's going on sink in. Then we're ready for round 2!
  

Myth #8 - Extroverts are not shy.

• We can be. *buries face in jacket*
  

Myth #9 - Extroverts don't have close friends, but a lot of acquaintances.

• Here's the thing. We are capable of being interested in more than 5 people at one time on a deeper level. However - we still invest the majority of our emotional baggage in a few lucky individuals - just like you introverts do. I just think we prepare ourselves with back-ups in case our emotions get smashed by close friends we shared them with! Who wants to be left all alone when a close friend moves on or away???? Oh. That's right. Introverts do.
  

Myth #10 - Extroverts don't care what others think.

• The biggest myth of them all! Extroverts have self-confidence issues just as you do! When people look at us across the room, we wonder if they're approving our newest clothing ensemble or simply checking out the fresh pimple beside our nose. The difference is - we typically just ask them! I mean, don't introverts "want everyone to just be real and honest"? What better way than to verbally confirm their suspicion??

***UPDATE: Note to all my anonymous readers.

Zimbabwe was more than I could have studied, been told about, or imagined. More emotional. More raw. More surreal. More shocking. More spiritual. Going there managed to tear me down, yet build me up. I felt ashamed of my selfishness, yet proud of my determination. Hesitant to learn more of their everyday reality, yet drawn to each individual story.

I have failed at any attempt I've made to describe my time there thus far - resulting in confusion and a lot of self-examination. Part comedy, part obsurdity - I envisioned myself somewhat as a mission superhero before leaving the states. Flying to a foreign country with a heart determined to seek and save, bringing material possessions that have little to no importance in my life as the ultimate sacrifice for someone with less, "surviving" on mere bread, rice, and chicken - all to make my Father smile down and say"Well done, my good and faithful servant".

But the closest I got to being a superhero was wrapping my towel around my neck as a cape.

They don't need a superhero. They need to see the love God has for them -through us. And when I whisked in with my charming smile and bag of tricks - I wonder where I left the simple sincerity of a heart longing to touch a single soul for Jesus. Somehow it became a matter of impressing them with my willingness to share a bag of candy from the dollar tree, rather than impressing ON them the ultimate gift and sacrifice that's been given for us. If there had been a video camera and some sad music in the background, my interactions would have made a perfect commercial for sponsoring an orphan on TV. It was so easy to get caught up in the moment of 50 kids all wanting to hold your hand at the same time. Such a boost to the ego!

Needless to say, I'm struggling with feelings of failure. Failing those who gave financially to send us there. Those who prayed for our effectiveness during those 14 days. And failing God. Most of all - God. I pray the door he opened for us resulted in good beyond my line of vision. That the failure I feel results in a renewed appreciation for the time I have with others.

My new reality is that...perhaps...the person whose soul needing saving the most during those 2 weeks - was mine.

I wasn't prepared for that possibility. Realizing my lack of superpowers and level of spiritual immaturity was an unwelcome surprise. But I'm finally ready to tell you about God's power beyond my blind arrogance. He did some pretty amazing things while I was over there. Stay tuned. Snapshots of our Lord's awesomeness to come.

It's necessary that I update you on Satan's losing battle in raising funds for Chris and I to serve in Zimbabwe in less than 6 weeks!

Since my last post, we have been blessed with friends who have stepped forward to support us. Not only am I aware of many prayers going up on our behalf, but we have had $640 dollars pledged to us ($250 specifically for our bills in October), and an additional $100 check given to us for our travel insurance since then. One of my past bosses here at work also told me on Friday that she was going to try and rally funds for us through people I work with and with those in her close circle of friends. Though we still have a ways to go, I fully believe that God is going to bless us with the means to go. We're still hoping and praying that Chris's health insurance kicks in before the second rounds of shots, saving us around $200.

We had the wonderful opportunity of spending a fair amount of time this past week with the group from Wichita, Kansas that we'll be joining forces with over in Zimbabwe. It was my first time meeting them, and based on how bad my stomach muscles hurt from laughing, I'd say it's a good match. They are all such sweet and loving people, and seem to share in my desire for a sense of humor in dealing with life. It only got me more excited to serve over there with them.

In other news, Chris and I both got this weird bug on Saturday. He woke up in the middle of Friday night, vomiting. He thought it was the pizza he had had for dinner the night before. Throughout the morning, he developed a headache, and still felt nausous, but eventually began feeling better slightly after lunchtime. Then, in the middle of the afternoon, I started vomiting....but I hadn't had the pizza from the night before. I then got a headache and felt nauseous. But 12 hours later, I was fine again. It was the weirdest thing.

As another update - I've lost 22lbs. total since I started my "Fathead".....lifestyle!. I've plateaud the past month or so, but I know all I need to do is get my butt on the treadmill to jumpstart it. I've kept my eating on track, and continued taking my vitamins. Saying (and thinking) I need to lose 53lbs. is a lot easier to deal with than 75lbs, though. Slowly, but surely!

Please keep praying for us as we prepare ourselves for the upcoming mission!