In response to the recent article "10 Myths about Introverts" floating about Facebook lately, I felt the irrepressible need to explain the extroverts of the world. Read with enjoyment - and an open heart! :)
Myth #1 - Extroverts like to talk and can't be silent.
Myth #1 - Extroverts like to talk and can't be silent.
- It's not so much that we LIKE to talk - but what we DON'T like. Which is awkward silence. This is what occurs when you put a bunch of introverts in a room who don't like making small talk! We like to "break the ice" and talk about anything and everything we can think of, just to avoid the awkwardness of everyone pretending not to be listening or looking at anyone else in the room. If others are talking and there's no awkwardness - we embrace the opportunity to stop brainstorming random and totally unnecessary subjects!
- Need? No. We simply ARE, due to introverts not talking....er....excuse me...I believe it's refusing to "beat(ing) around the bush with social pleasantries". There we go. Or liking to spend an abundant amount of time in public. We end up being the center of attention by default!
- Just because we are comfortable talking to YOU and the person standing next to you (and the next person that comes along), does NOT mean that we have any desire to talk to a room full of people at once. Our level of comfort in verbally communicating with others stops when they actually all stop to listen and do not respond. Must I use the word "awkward" again?
- Though we get our energy from being around others, do not mistake this for wanting to be the designated "new person" greeter. Being shoved towards a person that no one in the room knows is just as uncomfortable for us, as it is for introverts. However - unlike introverts - we don't know how it is possible to make friends WITHOUT first going through the inevitable "small talk" phase that introverts hate so much. So we push through the hesitation and discomfort and just do it. (Think about it, introverts - your closest friends are extroverts who did exactly what you think is unnecessary to do in public, aren't they?? AREN'T they?!)
- How would you know? You only see us when we're around you. :)
- Trust me on this one. We. do. not. exert. any. energy. at. home. YOU give us energy! Isn't that the biggest compliment in the world? We are ONLY energetic when we are around you! We love getting to know you, and finding out more about you, and spending time with you! Woo-hoo....I'm getting more energy just thinking about thinking about you! It doesn't have to be in big groups, either. Extroverts just enjoy spending time with someone other than themselves.
- Our recharge is faster than your recharge. Not to sound arrogant or anything. Nothing to brag about, really. Well...it kinda is. Do you remember the last time an extrovert excused themselves to the potty? Yep - that's all it takes. Really. We excuse ourselves, head on down to the john, and let everything that's going on sink in. Then we're ready for round 2!
- We can be. *buries face in jacket*
- Here's the thing. We are capable of being interested in more than 5 people at one time on a deeper level. However - we still invest the majority of our emotional baggage in a few lucky individuals - just like you introverts do. I just think we prepare ourselves with back-ups in case our emotions get smashed by close friends we shared them with! Who wants to be left all alone when a close friend moves on or away???? Oh. That's right. Introverts do.
- The biggest myth of them all! Extroverts have self-confidence issues just as you do! When people look at us across the room, we wonder if they're approving our newest clothing ensemble or simply checking out the fresh pimple beside our nose. The difference is - we typically just ask them! I mean, don't introverts "want everyone to just be real and honest"? What better way than to verbally confirm their suspicion??
***UPDATE: Note to all my anonymous readers.
|
Funny :) I imagine that we introverts do seem boring and awkward to extroverts. WHY WON'T YOU JUST TALK ALREADY!!!?? :)
I like the idea of the backup friends. Introverts actually HATE it when our close friends move away because, although we need alone time, we still need a few super close friends, and we aren't so good at the "backup friend" thing. I might have to get a best friend understudy... :)
Do it. It's totally worth it. :)
I feel like you might be on the introvert/extrovert borderline, Alyson. Why don't you just come on over to the cool side, and join us proud extroverts already??!
There's nothing proud about an extrovert. No deep philosophical thinking or understanding of deep emotions. Just shallow coversations and empty smiles. Don't do it Alyson!
Maybe I'm a "social introvert." I spend an inordinate amount of time in my head, and crowds wear me out, wo I'm definitely an introvert, but I do like people!
Thanks for posting this!! Every time I hear a talk about Introverts/Extroverts, it always seems like they are attacking Extroverts. Thank you for posting the good qualities about us! Btw, on the Extrovert scale of 10 being Extreme Extrovert and 0 being Extrovert/Introvert, I'm a 5 (so sometimes I show introvert qualities).
Hey Alexa - glad you enjoyed it! I'm definitely an extrovert, and just like poking fun at my quiet family and friends! I think there are a lot of interesting things to learn about both parties and just wanted to bring up some good things about extroverts! :)
I think this is fantastic. I'm a huge introvert, but I enjoy being around people. I'm crazy shy and have a huge crush on a very extrovert guy. Reading this helps put things into perspective. :D
Anonymous said...
This blog is shit and you should feel bad for it. The original Brito article was a well stated dispelling of the myths surrounding introverts and you took it as some kind of personal affront against your character? What do you have to feel inferior about? The US is an extroverted COUNTRY. There was no need for this horrible "I'm not an introvert, I'm BETTER" piece of shit you call a blog. I seriously hope you get an education in the future.
I would love to link this to something I'm writing on introverts and extroverts (and may still do so), but I think I might prefer a less... Personal version of it.
I think this does have good and interesting content (and I was very glad to be able to find something like this for extroverts as most of the stuff I found was only about introverts), but it does seem to be taking the introvert article as an affront and it specifically refers to 'you', meaning introverts. Assuming that an introvert is the one reading it.
You don't need to point out the perceived failings of an introvert (such as not liking small-talk, and let me emphasize that a lot of qualities on both sides aren't so much things that people have purposely chosen, but things that they cannot help feeling) to be able to boost up the way an extrovert does things. I just think it could be more positive :)
The original Introvert list is a concise breakdown of negative stereotypes and myths directed towards introverts unfairly and offers insight into why introverts behave as they do. All this 'blog' does is attempt to reinforce those negative stereotypes and drives home the point that you really didn't understand the original list in the first place. I sure hope people don't take this list seriously, because it's insensitive, insulting, misguided and childish.
I can't believe anyone "anonymous" could take this as an affront, Amber. And then they don't have the guts to show their name. I love your post, its so funny! :-)
My favorite were those that commented " this 'blog'"... Suggesting its not a real blog. Bahaha what is a real blog? It doesnt take much for people to get their panties in a bunch... Its cause they dont have the joy of the Lord like you!
"There's nothing proud about an extrovert. No deep philosophical thinking or understanding of deep emotions. Just shallow coversations and empty smiles. "
What's wrong with wanting to be around people? You don't think it's possible to enjoy talking to people and having conversations without being deep?
This is cool! I am an introvert and have been looking for some articles about extroverts, because I want to understand them. This explains a lot. I feel seeing myself through others' eyes.
Actually we don't hate small talks. It's just that silence is not that awkward for us. :)
I just want to ask: when do you think? I mean, do you tend to think more while speaking, or before speaking, like us? Just curious.
Ha - Lala! I often get accused of not thinking when I speak at all! :) However, truth is, I just speak it when I think it. It takes effort to pause when I think something and then have to make a decision on whether it should really come out of my mouth or not. I forego the contemplation part altogether (whereas I feel introverts take more time to consider their thoughts before putting them out there).
Hope that helps a little - glad you enjoyed reading it, though!
I have never heard any of these myths before. Probably because I'm an introvert haha! I would have preferred it if you broke the myths without talking about introverts quite as much. It should be almost completely about the extrovert way of thinking and doing. Things like that. Barely about introverts.
All my closest friends, I spoke to first haha! I usually just talk about one thing I'm interested in. It probably works out because I smile all the time. But if they don't seem interested, (obviously I don't have another topic I want to say) I laugh, say "Nice talking to you, chao!" And walk away. Nice. Swift. Easy. Not awkward.
Wait... What's small talk? Is it bouncing around different topics getting comfortable with them until you magically land on a top both can easily talk about? Or what? I've never been clear on exactly what it is... I'll look it up right now haha!
I am an extreme extrovert and my husband an introvert that can pretend to be a partial extrovert. Haha how he was able to get my attention to date him. I won't lie its been a battle and a half our entire marriage. But the more I learn about him the more I can understand and try to make things a little less frustrating. The beauty of being an extrovert we can adapt WAY easier to situations and surroundings. I find that does not fair well with an introvert. It is much harder for them and literally exhausting for them to even pretend. I had no idea before reading into what an introvert was that most of our marital problems revolve around these differences. It is still hard to understand but hopefully with time it will get easier.
That makes you an ambivert. I have this trait too, and I really like showing off both qualities as I always tend to fit into any social situation. :)
Are you blaming introverts for their awkwardness so you extrovert has to break the ice and make small talks? Introverts put great loyalty and trust towards their friends and they will get hurt when their friends move on to and leave then alone. They may not make as much friends because they see things as individual part and appreciate things as they are, not like extroverts that tend to be random and replace friends easily. Introverts have HSP so they have the 'porcupine and turtle' tendencies when they are being bullied or poke fun of by insensitive people, they would reflect on themselves for the wrong and mistakes unlike extroverts that would blame them on others, that is one thing that insensitive and extroverted people would not understand and would never try to understand. You are blaming introverts that they aren't 'real and honest' by not talking out their feelings. In fact, it is not always that way. Introverts in fact like to be real and honest so they refrain from making small talks and gossips about people cuz they like being real. The whole thing you are just blaming and blaming and is trying to compare to an introvert to make being an extrovert sounds great. This is what a typical insensitive extrovert will do, they just can't care less to make themselves seem better. To add something to this, introverts aren't all awkward people and some of them can be real bubbly, they just don't like to make untrue sentences and force themselves to fit in because they are clear that it is not what they really want.
Wow, how many stereotypes exist about boxing people up... f.e. I am an extrovert and LOVE deep conversations (dont like small talk but some things are necessary to break the ice indeed).. but I love philosophy and have deep feelings. I hate conversations which are about nothing. And I think your post in exactly what I say: boxing people up. Also introverts can be more outgoing and extrovert like me can be less outgoing than the most extroverted people. I am so amazed by some people just blurting out things of which they dont know anything of.
Btw, Jane E: I am an HSP extrovert and very intuitive . Maybe check out the MBTI personality test...not all extroverts are sensors. I am very intuitive... talking about stereotypes of extrovert. I dont like those extroverts as much as you do Jane E.
It is only our prejudice and first impression of people that get us to make wrong assumptions about people. I have noticed how we are made to ponder over ourselves that we are doing it wrong. yet we are not doing anything wrong. its just our way of doing things.
I also found out myths that people have about introverts. Below link compiles them:
myths about Introverts
Not cool Joshua , lol. We extroverts can be very philosophical, sensitive, emotional, etc. My smile is never empty :). It is real because we extroverts actually love being around people :D. Usually what you vsee us what you get.
Not cool Joshua , lol. We extroverts can be very philosophical, sensitive, emotional, etc. My smile is never empty :). It is real because we extroverts actually love being around people :D. Usually what you vsee us what you get.
I'm an extroverted ambivert. I can relate to these very much.