I wonder when the word "no" became such a difficult word to say. Looking at the English language, one would think the pronunciation of the "n" and the "o" in consecutive order would not be so difficult. And maybe it's not the pronunciation of the word that is so hard, but the way that particular word is interpreted by others, once the syllable leaves your mouth.

"No" didn't become part of my vocabulary until after I graduated college. I guess I thought the expression on my face, or hesitancy in answering a question would relay to someone my obvious desire to say "no", even when my mouth couldn't form the word. But people overlook what they want, when they want something from you. Some experts quote that 7% of communication is verbal. Which means I have either encountered a lot of stupid people, or some experts are wayyyyy off.

But now I'm afraid I live my life at the other extreme. I ended up suffering some pretty severe consequences for refusing to use the word "no" for 23 years. Now that word is at the top of my vocabulary list. It's the first word that comes to mind when someone walks into my office at work. It resides at the the tip of my tongue when I see certain people calling my phone. I hated being a doormat for 23 years, but now I hate feeling unwilling to sacrifice my talents, effort, and time for fear of becoming that doormat again. Where's the middle ground?
5 Responses
  1. Anonymous Says:

    I am unable to say NO, it drives me crazy bc I do a LOT of stuff because I am too weak (or crazy, not sure which) to just say no. It's easy to say no to obvious things like drugs or stealing something but to something that you really don't want to do, like uhh most of the stuff on my calendar lol! I just want to make a sign that says I will not be doing this and this and this so that it will be clear to what I don't want to do so NO won't be needed lol!!!! Since No is soo hard to say it should be illegal for me to just say Yes! I am trying to work on this but it is really hard, especially when it is someone close or your guilted into doing it--uggh what to do what to do:)

    Oh and yes it is me!!

  2. "Anonymous"...i think that for a trial period, it's best that we send people asking us for things to each other. I'll tell you're people "no" for you, and you can tell mine!

  3. I've never thought about this before. I guess that when I don't want to use the word "no," I just say, "not really," or something else that might sound a little nicer. :) Loved the post - get me thinking. Also loved that you put the title of the post and the link on your Gmail status because then I knew you updated! :) Love ya!

  4. Thanks, Kara! I'm make sure to update my gmail status for you to keep up with. Love and miss you!

  5. J.J. Says:

    I am proud you are figuring this out a LOT sooner in life than I did! I'm 38 years old and am just now getting to a point that it doesn't make me lose sleep to say no. I am in a period of life now that I pick and choose when to say no...whether out of necessity or because God has caused me to grow, I'm not sure. I'm still not perfect, I still have my doormat moments. I pray that those moments help me to grow even stronger!

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