“If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector." (Matthew 18:15-17)

I want to scream. Growing up, you constantly hear "We're having an adult conversation", or "Act like an adult!" There was this assumption that when I became "an adult", those my age and older would be "acting like adults". Well it isn't true! I'm so tired of adults acting like children. The game of avoidance and pretend politeness gets old. At this point in my life, I'm convinced "acting like an adult" simply means perfecting the art of acting like a child.

I struggle with the verses up above. I'm really good at the first part. (ha!) I usually don't hesitate to pull someone aside and try to talk to them about the problems that exist. But the rest of the verses - I don't know. If I were to take one or two others along with me to talk to this person (as pulling them aside didn't seem to resolve anything), I can see them feeling ganged up on and pulling even further away from me. Yet I don't know what I did wrong in the first place! And then to take it to the church - it makes my stomach hurt. Part of me just wishes I could let it go and let them live with their inexplicable anger towards me. Mostly because approaching that person results in fake reactions. "What? There's nothing wrong. I don't know what you're talking about!" Right.

I hope I remember to teach my children that acting like an adult means actually dealing with your problems, and not hiding or running away from them.

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