I probably shouldn't be writing about this, but I'm gonna! Today, my totally awesome and "respectable" place of employment has issued an "Active Gunman Practice Day". On this particular day (which I was not allowed to use vacation or sick leave to get out of), we are all required to be on campus by 8:30, at which point they will shut all gates and block all entrances. At approximately 9:00, there will be actors (?) who will portray the part of active gunmen and hostages, where we must react accordingly. We were notified ahead of time that we were to bring our lunch to our offices, or be prepared to starve until further notice. During the course of the next 5-6 hours, we are to act as though there is a gunman in our building, and lock ourselves in a room (barricading the door if necessary), that gives us as little visibility as possible - no windows to the outside or to the hallway. We are expected to stay there until we are given the "all-clear" via our phones....(which I would be using to call 911 if this were really happening)

So let me summarize this up for you. I must remain locked in my office all day, preparing myself for the "pretend" shock of someone coming down the hall with the intent to kill. I may not answer my door at any cost, must eat my lunch in my office, and I (assume) practice grand bladder control. What a productive day!

Let me just be honest, though. We've been forewarned about this for a few weeks now. It has crossed my mind that someone may take this grand opportunity to get the revenge they've been waiting for. It wouldn't surprise me if in the midst of these "actors", a real person decided they could earn people's trust by pretending to the actor, with his own hidden agenda. I know there's enough drama in my building to create such a thought in a person's mind!

Anyway...here's to an unproductive day at work, and the hope of getting out alive!

These are my two little darlings. I spend 6 hours a week with both of them, praying that any of the words that come out of my mouth will possibly take root in the confusion of hormones and "ADD" they are experiencing as 11 year olds. I began tutoring "D1" first - the one on the right, who is in 6th grade. "D2" lives down the street from D1, and is in 5th grade.

I've been going crazy these past few weeks trying to help them prepare for the EOG - End of Grade Testing. I wasn't required to take EOGs when I went to school. Not that I remember. And their parents are under the impression that they must pass this test in order for them to go on to the next grade. Pressure, anyone!!?? D2 went to a private school until this year, so he's never experienced having to take the EOG before. He's terrified to put down any wrong answers, and it's taken me a long time to explain to him the benefit of educated guessing. D1 tends to look for shortcuts when taking tests, and often doesn't read the directions before jumping into the answers. They are both brilliant boys, and quite enjoyable to work with. D1's sarcasm is comparable to my own. Makes for a fun tutoring session. :)

The EOGs are next week, so it may be my last week to work with them this school year. I told them I would take them out to their favorite restaurant next Friday in celebration of completing the week of testing, and I'm really looking forward to that. Both of their parents have asked if I would be willing to work with them next year....so my adventures with D1 and D2 will continue!

I don't know which is worse - the fingernail polish, or the fact that my tub is green.
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Total spatter disaster!

Thankfully, this morning started out MUCH better than yesterday. Woke up on time, lost weight, was able to close my pants....things were going smoothly. Right before I walked out the door, I decided to grab some bobby pins and pull my hair back. I thought I remembered seeing some in the top drawer of a small shelving unit in my bathroom next to the shower. On top of the shelving unit, I have a cluster of bottles and lotions...perfumes and nail polish....jewelry and hair ties. I looked there first just to see if I had taken any out a few days before and laid them there. Nope.

So I opened up the top drawer, and removed the curling iron that was sitting on top of everything else. I put it in my left hand as I used my right hand to continue rummaging through the drawer. Somehow...I don't know how or why...but I dropped the curling iron, causing it to fall on top of my *neatly organized* collection of beauty treatments, sending bottles and jars flying. Unfortunately, one of those bottles happened to be my blood red bottle of nail polish. And even MORE unfortunate...it cracked on the side of the shower before completely busting open IN the bottom of the shower. I stood there for a minute, just looking at the spray of red nail polish. I wasn't sure what to do. Try to wash some of it away with water? Grab some paper towels to get the globs up before they dry? Leave for work and pretend it didn't happen?

You may think those are all bad ideas...but I ended up doing all of them! I wasn't sure what to do, so I quickly turn the shower on, ran to get a paper towel to wipe the glops off the side of the tub, and then looked at the clock. I gotta go! I know I have fingernail polish remover somewhere in my apartment, it's just a matter of looking in the right box! And let's be honest...this is going to take a lot more than one bottle! The result of me turning on the shower to "wash it away" helped in getting rid of some of the globs, but ended up spraying the polish further down the tub. And me trying to wipe the side of the tub with a paper towel just streaked it out further. I turned off the shower, grabbed the glass out of the tub, and thought paint thinner! I wonder if paint thinner will help get this off! *Note to others - it didn't work :)

After I'd done all I thought I could do, and the damage was done, I took a step back to look at the big picture. And then I realized something. It looks like I just bled out in the shower. I sprayed "blood" by turning the water on, it now looks like my hand was covered in "blood" as I wiped the side of the tub. Chris is going to freak out when he sees this! He usually comes by my apartment during the day, and I certainly don't want him walking into my bathroom and thinking that I fell and hit my head this morning in the shower!! He's helping a friend from church move today, and I tried calling to tell him what happened, but I got voicemail, and he hasn't called me back. Oh well....certainly the fumes of fingernail polish will hit his nose before his imagination gets the best of him.

FYI: I'll take of picture of this scene before I clean it up tonight. It's horrible...and funny.

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Which is the same side I always get out of, so I'm convinced I never should have gotten out of bed to begin with.

I usually try to get up between 7:00 and 7:10, but I didn't hear the alarm at all this morning. I got up closer to 7:20. FAIL

I bought some scar bandages for my knees last night to try to obtain a look for summer that's a little less scary. You're supposed to keep them on for a minimum of 12 hours at a time, and throwing back the covers revealed that they had come off in the middle of the night. FAIL

I stepped on the scale to weigh myself. I gained. FAIL

I got out of the shower, brushed my teeth, and put foundation and mascara on. Then I proceeded to get dressed, unable to complete the task of closing my pants. Which is when I began to cry. Resulting in my mascara streaming down my face. FAIL

I go to the refrigerator to grab my new container of apple slices for breakfast. Only to find it's a combination of apples and grapes. FAIL

It's a chilly morning, and I turn the heat on low in my car as I start driving to work. Which is when my broken back window falls down and lets the cool morning air in. FAIL

I get to work late and think nobody notices. Get a call 5 minutes later from a professor, asking about my tardiness. FAIL

Lucky for you...it's only 9:44am, or this list would be longer. Can I go back to bed, please??

Maybe it's my one thousand, seven hundred and fifty fourth attempt to lose weight. I can't keep up. Regardless, here I go again! I'm a yo-yo dieter, no doubt about it. My body clings to calories as though I'm about to shrivel up in the desert...yet refuses to let them go when I'm well nourished. It's a frustrating cycle. The smell of pizza makes me gain a pound.

I've done it all. LA Weight Loss, Weight Watchers, the Lemonade Diet, Alli, Slim Fast, all-natural detox, a form of Atkins, equivalent to the 3-Hour Diet....you name it! I remember the first major weigh loss investment I made. I joined LA Weight Loss after someone told me I couldn't lose the weight. It just lit my fire. So I paid, saw my counselor every week, and ended up losing 40lbs. Was that my final goal? Nope! But I felt so accomplished and happy with my progress that I stopped going. That also happened to be around the time I was introduced to the world of bread and cheese via my first trip to The Netherlands. Yummmm! Why hello my formerly lost 25lbs...I thought I'd never see you again!

I kept those added pounds on for the remainder of college and until I moved to Eindhoven for a year. Then magically, with a lack of funds to buy junk food, and no car....I lost 35lbs. Yay! So when I got back to the States in '08, I was 50lbs down from my all-time high, back at my high school weight, and feeling good! I can keep this going!

Or so I thought. Then came the slew of pounds and additional diet plans. Up 10lbs, down 5lbs. Up 20lbs., down 15lbs. *Boing boing boing* It wasn't until recently I realized my main problem. I've been told (and believe) that the only way a diet can be successful is if you are doing it for yourself, and not anyone else. And that's what I thought I was doing. But I really wanted to hear someone tell me at church how cute I looked...not how cute the purse or jewelry I was wearing was. And once I'm a week into a diet, and the cravings are coming in massive waves, I begin to realize that I love myself for who I am, and can't reason with myself the need to care what others think. I've always loved myself and who I am. And I think that's the biggest reason I haven't been hugely successful at staying on a diet plan (and keeping the lost pounds away).

But THIS time...*let me insert your disbelieving chuckle*....I'm focusing on my future. Realistically, I can't even consider getting pregnant at my current weight. And realistically, I need to be concerned about how my weight affects my muscle disease. And REALISTICALLY, it should take me between 6 months to a year to reach a healthy BMI. If I keep putting it off, I'll never be where I want to be.

So I'll update you with my progress as I go. Over the past 3 weeks, I've lost 10lbs....but I've got so many more to lose! Feel free to ask me randomly to make sure I'm on track. Comparison pictures will come after more progress has been made!

Someone PLEASE tell me the point of micromanaging?! My newest boss just came in and asked me to make a phone call to the Post Office on campus after he found out a package intended for him was sent back. After asking me to do so, he left my office to return to his. But the second I picked up the phone, he walked back into my office and scripted to me what he wanted me to say. Did that really do either of us any good? I thought you asked me to do it to save yourself time, but you might as well have gotten on the phone yourself and said what you wanted!

I shooed him out of my office, so I could finish the conversation in peace....but I really don't get it! If you aren't comfortable letting someone else do something for you, why ask them to do it at all? Someone who wants to be involved in every aspect of a decision should just not give the pretense of trusting anyone else with it. Otherwise, it's a waste of that person's time...right??

Or am I way off base here?