Unless I'm slower than most, (which is a definite possibility!) I didn't know what gamophobia was until I googled "fear of marriage" this morning. I would have thought gamophobia would be the fear of playing games. I expected fear of marriage to return something along the lines of maritaphobia, forevaphobia...something a little more obvious! :)
While I don't think I have gamophobia, I certainly have a large list of fears about marriage. The idea of marriage seemed much simpler when I was in college. Meet a guy, fall in love, commit to each other forever, start a family, and live happily ever after. A few arguments here and there, but nothing serious enough to make either partner want to leave! So to my surprise, from college till now, as all my single friends become married friends, and I learn more and more about the truth of marriage (as though someone had been hiding it from me all these years), it truly scares me about my own future marriage. Before, when my only concern was if we both had the same faith, and both wanted children...it seemed pretty easy to find someone to marry. But now my head is filled with the reality of a marriage splitting over jealousy, unfaithfulness, money, lies, infertility, jobs, raising children, distance from God....the list in my head goes on and on and on. I'm even tearing up thinking about it all!
But before I give you the wrong idea....I do want, and plan, on getting married. And I do plan on it being my one and only marriage for the rest of my life. But seeing and hearing about people I love, disrespecting and breaking their vows to the person those chose to spend the rest of their life with...just breaks my heart, and lessens the amount of hope I have in the sanctity of my own marriage. What I want to hear from others is that they are struggling through hard times, but are making the effort to work through it. And that both partners come out on the other end without regret, continuing to work together to make the marriage work. I know it's possible. I just wonder why it's not more common.
While I don't think I have gamophobia, I certainly have a large list of fears about marriage. The idea of marriage seemed much simpler when I was in college. Meet a guy, fall in love, commit to each other forever, start a family, and live happily ever after. A few arguments here and there, but nothing serious enough to make either partner want to leave! So to my surprise, from college till now, as all my single friends become married friends, and I learn more and more about the truth of marriage (as though someone had been hiding it from me all these years), it truly scares me about my own future marriage. Before, when my only concern was if we both had the same faith, and both wanted children...it seemed pretty easy to find someone to marry. But now my head is filled with the reality of a marriage splitting over jealousy, unfaithfulness, money, lies, infertility, jobs, raising children, distance from God....the list in my head goes on and on and on. I'm even tearing up thinking about it all!
But before I give you the wrong idea....I do want, and plan, on getting married. And I do plan on it being my one and only marriage for the rest of my life. But seeing and hearing about people I love, disrespecting and breaking their vows to the person those chose to spend the rest of their life with...just breaks my heart, and lessens the amount of hope I have in the sanctity of my own marriage. What I want to hear from others is that they are struggling through hard times, but are making the effort to work through it. And that both partners come out on the other end without regret, continuing to work together to make the marriage work. I know it's possible. I just wonder why it's not more common.
