I have a hot pepporoni pizza sitting on my desk right now, and I'm not even tempted to eat a piece.

(Despite the fact that someone asked me if I was pregnant this morning.)

Usually that type of question sends me into an eating frenzy. But I found it funny and sad today. No biggie. My goal is to not look pregnant...right?

Chris got even BETTER news yesterday concerning work. He found out (at the end of the day) that yesterday was his last day at his current job. Which sucks, being given such short notice. But it was just in time for him to be given yet ANOTHER job (not the one doing the 6-month construction) that wants to hire someone on permanently. He went in for the interview this morning and was successful at getting hired on for Monday. If this position leads to a permanent position, he will not only get paid more/hour, but will have plenty of opportunity for overtime. I'm so excited! He has been amazing these past few months with the jobs he's been given, and it's really starting to pay off!

You thought I quit already, didn't you?! It's only been 2 weeks....give me at least a month. :)

Week 2 weigh-in: +.2lbs

I'm okay with that. I knew it was coming. There's a "2nd week curse" when it comes to weight loss. Though I had higher hopes for this week, as I stepped on a friend's scale on Saturday and had "lost" 4lbs. I think I like her scale better. :)

But I'm still on track and still motivated!

I've been trying to find a new layout for the blog - I suddenly got tired of my old one. I've searched for days trying to find one I like and can't seem to find any that fit my personality. But I'll keep looking...

I desperately want to quit my evening tutoring job. I look forward to the summer where I can make a clean break, rather than give a lame excuse as to why I don't want to do it anymore. I have something planned every weekend from now until mid-April and it just makes having to work in the evenings that much worse, knowing I won't even have time for R&R at the end of the week.

A wonderful thing to report, though! As frustrating as Chris's job situation has been, it's been nice the past few months having him work a temporary construction job to bring in some extra money. Last week he told me that the job he was on was about to end. I got discouraged and frustrated, wondering how long it would take for him to get on with another "permanent" temporary job. The next day, he went by the temp agency he works for and a guy there recognized his name. He told the secretary that he wanted Chris on his crew for his upcoming job. That he had heard a lot of good things about Chris and wanted to make sure that they put "the motorcycle guy" on his job. So after his current job ends, he now has another job lined up that is expected to go on for 6 months. Yay honey!

First week weigh-in: -4.2lbs

Am I excited? Sure. Could I have done better? Definitely. Although I have to give myself a lot of credit - that's including eating out 4 times this past week. Some planned, and some not. I certainly attempted to get my water in everyday no matter what, and tried to juggle the calorie count if I did go out to eat.

I just found an amazing website. It's a fast food nutrition guide for 371 restaurants. And if you click on multiple items, it'll add the calories/fat/carbs up for you. It even has a weight watchers points column, if you're in to that.

The other night, I was talking to my parents about high school and college reunions. When I got home that night, I had an invite to my 10 year high school reunion. I thought it was comical timing. It's set for August 13th, though I don't know where. I'm not sure whether to go or not, so I'm glad I have several months to think about it. I'd be much more excited and ready to go to my college reunion, but I only live 3 hours away from where I went to high school, so it wouldn't be a big deal to show up. I recognized several names on the list of invites, but I barely remember what made them stand out to me in high school. I'll let you know when I eventually decide.

A visit to my sister and nephews is LOOONG overdue...but our weekend keep filling up! I'm not sure how we always end up being so busy, but we do. Thankfully, we finally got the majority of our dishes washed this weekend. And the dining room table cleaned up! It's progress, people...progress!

I had to share the following with you that I got in an email from my new buddy, Colleen. I'm excited to have her as a weight accountability partner more and more everyday. She wrote just what I needed to hear:

"So last night was last night and today is today. Life is like monkey bars - you have to let go to move ahead. So let the slip up go from yesterday and try for better today. Just think about what you want more of right now..take a deep breath, because I know just as well as you do, that we don't want to be at the weight we are right now, and putting food that is no good for us into our mouths isn't getting us any further ahead."

That was her response after I confessed to "cheating" on my diet by eating some pasta salad last night. I'm pretty excited to have her help along the way!

I was very tempted NOT to write about the following, due to potential embarrassment or harassment if I fail (again). But I've got to get over the embarassment factor and just "tell it like it is". Comically...I can do that so easily about any other subject...

Well...here I go...again. I gotta do it this time. For real. No pills, no liquid substitutes....I gotta start eating right. I've GOT to lose 80lbs. 80lbs is subjective, of course. But that's my ultimate goal to get me to a healthy BMI. Although I'm not completely surprised - I am amazed by the fact that I have managed to gain 35lbs. since my wedding day. I can already hear the "wow" and "that's unbelievable" thoughts running through your head as you read that. That's right - 35lbs. in 4 months. Makes me angry. And sad. And dissappointed in myself. I knew I wasn't going to keep all that weight off with the way I chose to lose it...but I certainly didn't expect to gain above and beyond what I had lost, putting me at a new all-time high for my weight. I've felt worse about myself the past couple months than I ever have before. And the possibility of starting a family in the next year or so is looming before me. I can't carry pregnancy weight on-top of the weight I'm already carrying. I just can't.

So I'm on day 4 today. I began the LA Weight Loss plan on Monday. It's the only program I've ever liked and really stuck to. I then went on a weight loss forum to find an accountability partner. And I lucked out with that! My new friend, Colleen, is from Canada, and though she's starting out at a lower weight than me, is the same height with the same goal. She has an office job, as well...so we've had the opportunity to email back and forth more than 10 times the past 2 days. We seem to have a lot in common. She has a daughter with a rare muscle disease that the doctors can't figure out, and we've had interesting discussion about that. I'm also keeping on online journal of all my food intake, as well as my water and vitamins.

I can do this. I know I can. I've done it in the past, and there's no better reason to become healthy than for my future family.

I weigh in on Mondays, and will do my best to post my progress. The one thing I can't do at this point is post my starting weight. Too ashamed. Maybe after I've lost some weight and feel better about the process...

Back at the end of October, I got a jury summons - a day after I was supposed to report! Mail was being sent to my parents' house and with the wedding and honeymoon, I didn't get all my mail immediately. I panicked, thinking I was going to get fined for not showing. I called and pulled the married card out. It worked. I was happy...no fine and I got out of jury duty!

...or so I thought. They then reassured me that they could reschedule me, "no problem". Yay. So sooner rather than later, I received yet another jury duty notice (with my correct name on it) for January 31st. As much as I look forward to the opportunity to get out of work, this was not something I wanted to do. Aside from sitting in a room packed full of strangers, waiting for my name to be called so that I can answer personal questions in front of attorneys and a judge to determine if I'm "right" or not, I was more anxious about being picked and having to decide someone's fate after battling with 11 other strangers about the outcome. No thank you.

You are expected to call in the night before you are told to report...but I had a theory. I figured the longer I waited to call, the possibility of them not needing me to come at all would be greater. You know...have room for 100, send the invite to 250, and only expect 120 to respond. That's not really the case with this, though. I called at 7:30am Monday morning (expected to report at the courthouse by 8:30am) and here "All individuals scheduled for jury duty on Monday, January 31st, are needed." Ugh.

So I left...got gas and stopped to grab some breakfast along the way. By the time I pulled into the parking lot, it was ten minutes after 8. I got one of the 2 remaining parking spaces left in the front parking lot. I gathered my things ( I came well-prepared!) and began walking towards the courthouse. As soon as I entered through the door, I saw security. I put my purse in a bucket and began emptying my jacket pockets. Just as I was checking with a security officer about bringing in my coffee, the guy behind the scanner asks "You got a camera in your purse?". I stopped and had to think. I didn't put a camera in my purse this morning, but it's highly likely I cart one around all the time without realizing it. "Ummm...I think so..." (beginning to hope he would confiscate it and hold it for me until I left for the day). He not-so-gently slung my purse back at me and gruffed "Go put it back in your car!". But it's cold outside! And I had to walk a long way! And if I do, then I'll be late reporting to jury duty! Mind if I leave my coffee, notebook, and breakfast here till I get back - it was quite a juggling act carrying it all by myself...

I contemplated paying the fine for not going. If this was the start to my day, it surely wasn't going to get any better! As I began walking back to my car, I noticed a vehicle driving slowly next to me, slightly out of my peripheral vision. Not wanting to be paranoid, I kept walking without looking over. After a few minutes, it became clear they were following me. Having no desire to be followed all the way to my car, I completely stopped walking and turned my body to the driver side window and stared at the driver. An older lady rolled down her window, and before she could say anything, I let her know "No, I'm not leaving. They're making me put my car back in my camera. Sorry." She complained about the lack of parking and I continued on after she drove off. By the time I got to my car, dug through my purse to find the dadgum camera, went through security, and located the listed room, just about every seat was taken. I felt like everyone in the room looked up at me to see what I would do. I knew I look disheveled and unpleasant at this point. No one looked overly eager for me to plop my rear and armload of items next to them. So I stayed right where I was and put my stuff down. There was a bookshelf against the wall that I put my coffee and notebook on. This is going to be a loooong wait.

I grabbed my book and began reading to take my mind of my tiring legs. I kept shifting my weight from one leg to the other, locking and unlocking my knees, as I leaned back on the wall. I watched as they took a newspaper from a man. Apparently we weren't allowed to read newspapers while on jury duty. But that wasn't mentioned on the card! Eventually someone came out and had us all swear in at the same time. Then we watched a video on what to expect once we were called. Shortly thereafter, they gave us a break. I took that opportunity to move my stuff to an open chair while everyone was up and shuffling around. Ahhhh....relief! Around 10am, someone came out with a stack of cards and began calling names. I realized my hands were shaking. I didn't want to be called. Not in the first group! She finished going through the stack of cards. Not me. That made me happy....Dr. Phil was about to come on! :)

As I watched about a 33-year old man who witnessed his dad killing his mom when he was a boy, they came out with another stack of cards. Here we go again! It's not even 11am - this is going a lot faster than I thought! Nope...not in the second group, either. We had been told that there were 2 criminal cases, and 1 civil case that day. So we were being divided into 3 groups. I was obviously in the third group. And had no interest in being called for a criminal case. But I figured the rest of us would be called within the hour, since the other 2 groups had already been taken out.

But that's what wishin' is for. We sat there allllll day...just waiting and waiting. I watched "Price is Right" for the first time in a long time. And "Let's Make a Deal", too! Who knew jury duty could be so entertaining! Although we got released for lunch, it wasn't until 4pm that we finally got told we could leave - they didn't need us. Now see?! If you had just said that on the phone when I called this morning...

I saw the following today, and thought it was fun!

Guy: Yo, I'm Hungary!

Friend: Why don't you Czech the fridge?

Guy: Ok...I'm Russian to the kitchen now.

Friend: Hmm...maybe you'll find some Turkey.

Guy: Yeah - I have some, but it's covered in a layer of Greece.

Friend: Ewwww man...there is Norway you are eating that!

Guy: Yeah, I know. I think I'll just settle for a can of Chile.

Friend: Denmark your name on the can.

Guy: Kenya do it for me please?

Friend: Ok, I'm Ghana do it.

Guy: Thanks, man! I'm so tired. Iran 2 kilometers today!